She’s So Lucky
After leaving your small, cramped apartment with your two kids, you walk into her beautiful, meticulous home and think, “She’s so lucky.”
You’re going through a tough time in your marriage and see her posting on Facebook about all the sweet and thoughtful things her husband does for her, and you think, “She’s so lucky.”
Two years after having a baby you’re still trying to figure out what to do with your muffin top and stretch makes. Your friend, who just delivered a few weeks ago, walks into the room with a waist smaller than yours was before you had kids, and you think, “She’s so lucky.”
You learn your friend is pregnant with her fourth baby and you look down at your own empty belly. You’ve been trying to give your first born a sibling for two years but it just isn’t happening. You look at her and think, “She’s so lucky.”
If you are like me, you’ve had some of these thoughts. You’ve looked at someone else and seen their home, their well-behaved children, slim body, intelligence, creativity, etc., and decided that their life is infinitely better than yours.
Comparison is the thief of joy. It magnifies our insecurities and leads us to jealousy. When I’m continually comparing myself to a friend, I cannot be genuinely supportive of her. Her achievements only serve to widen the divide between what she has and I don’t. When she succeeds, rather than being joyful for her, I reinforce my own insecurities and add another brick to a secret wall I’m building between us.
Comparison is also the thief of confidence. It blinds us so that we have no ability to see our own strengths. It sinks our dreams with storms of self-doubt. It keeps us so preoccupied with who we are not, that we are never able to discover who we were created to be. We miss out on the opportunity to nurture our own giftings and encourage others with them, because we don’t think that what we have to offer is good enough. It hinders our relationships because we are too afraid to be vulnerable with others. Rather than open up and honestly share our hearts and burdens together, we hold back and struggle in isolation.
The truth is that we have all been wonderfully and uniquely created; we all have the power to support and encourage one another; and we are all struggling in some way. We may hide our struggles under small talk and happy photos, but they are there.
As women, we need each other. We need to support and rejoice with one another. We need to be vulnerable and honest together. We need to encourage those around us, and allow ourselves to be encouraged. We can’t do this when we are constantly comparing ourselves to each other.
Our perceptions are often wrong. The woman you think has it all, is struggling herself. And while you think about how great it would be to have her life, she’s probably thinking the same thing about you.
She opens the door and smiles as your happy children come barreling through. Her home that was once filled with energy and life, feels lonely and empty now that her grown children have moved out. She looks at you with full arms, and thinks, “She’s so lucky.”
Grieving the tragic loss of her mother, she’s relied on her husband for strength and encouragement. She sees your posts about how supportive and caring your mother is, and thinks, “She’s so lucky.”
Sitting in the doctor’s office, feeling frail and tired, she’s worried that something is wrong with her body as she’s lost too much weight. She sees you chasing your toddler, looking healthy and vibrant, and thinks, “She’s so lucky.”
She looks down at her pregnant belly and is scared. Four kids in six years was not her plan and she doesn’t know how she is going to manage caring for so many little ones. She watches you focus and dote on your little one and thinks, “She’s so lucky.”